Christmas 2008

The only thing worse than a sick baby...

is a sick baby and momma. Especially if the baby in question is still nursing. The sick duo descends into a kind of death spiral from which there is no return.

The number one recommendation of medical professionals: rest.

Sick baby is not sleeping well. Baby only wants momma. Daddy is not an acceptable substitute. Hence sick momma is not sleeping well.

The number two recommendation of medical professionals: stay hydrated.

Sick baby is getting dehydrated. Baby wants to nurse constantly. Sick momma is quickly becoming dehydrated from the sickness and constant nursing. Baby becomes angry as milk supply drops. Baby begins biting momma to make the milk come. Baby becomes more dehydrated as momma become fearful of nursing. Stress and sickness further depletes milk supply.

The only thing worse than this sick momma/baby cycle of doom is when it occurs on a major holiday. Oh, did I mention tomorrow is Christmas?

Embryo Adoption: Yea or Nay?

Between diaper changes and Christmas backing, I've been reading Dignitas Personae, a new document released by the Vatican last week outlining the Church's teaching on several bioethical questions, including embryonic stem cell research and invitro fertilization (IVF). As usual, the Church takes a staunch, though often unpopular, stance in favor of the dignity of the human person at all stages of development and bravely recognizes the reality that human life should spring forth out of a loving marriage.


Much of the document simply reasserts the teachings in Donum Vitae, however, a few more recent developments in the arena are examined, one of these being "prenatal adoption," more commonly referred to as embryo adoption. Embryo adoption has been one of the new hot button issues in Catholic bioethics circles for a couple of years now. Back in 2000, my husband did his college senior thesis on embryo adoption; he had five sources available to him. Since then thousands of articles have been written for and against the issue.


Basically, embryo adoption is the legal adoption of a frozen embryo, which is then implanted in the adoptive mother. Those in favor of the notion argue that couples who adopt an embryo are saving the child from a precarious future. While it may seem a bit radical, the couple is simply providing the child with the environment it needs to survive - a womb. Others have argued against the idea, citing many of the same ethical problems as IVF and surrogacy and the possible interruption of natural reproduction within the marriage.

Personally, I have always tended to think embryo adoption would be morally acceptable in the correct circumstances. The primary moral evil of IVF is the creation of human life outside the martial act. The actual implantation of the embryo is a separate, secondary act. In fact, one could think of circumstance where the implantation of embryo would almost seem to be morally obligatory.

For example, a couple participates in IVF and puts several extra embryos in storage for possible future use. In the meantime, they have a conversion and come to understand the moral evil of IVF. What should they do about their existing children in the freezer? Let them there indefinitely? Baptize them and let them die? Or provide them with the conditions to grow and develop, basically, implant them? In the past, I would argue that the couple should implant the embryos.

Of course, this example isn't exactly the case of embryo adoption since the couple is implanting their own children. However, if the couple could morally implant their own children in such a case, it points to the fact that the act of implantation itself can be morally neutral and separate from the act of IVF.

After reading the new document, though, it seems the Church is going the other direction:


"It has also been proposed, solely in order to allow human beings to be born who are otherwise condemned to destruction, that there could be a form of “prenatal adoption”. This proposal, praiseworthy with regard to the intention of respecting and defending human life, presents however various problems not dissimilar to those mentioned above.

All things considered, it needs to be recognized that the thousands of abandoned embryos represent a situation of injustice which in fact cannot be resolved. Therefore John Paul II made an “appeal to the conscience of the world’s scientific authorities and in particular to doctors, that the production of human embryos be halted, taking into account that there seems to be no morally licit solution regarding the human destiny of the thousands and thousands of ‘frozen’ embryos which are and remain the subjects of essential rights and should therefore be protected by law as human persons”. (Dignitas Personea, 39 Emphasis added.)

After reading this section of Dignitas Personae, it seemed the Church was saying "no" to embryo adoption. Then I can across this passage in the USCCB's Question & Answer document for Dignitas Personae:

"Proposals for 'adoption' of abandoned or unwanted frozen embryos are also found to pose problems, because the Church opposes use of the gametes or bodies of others who are outside the marital covenant for reproduction. The document raises cautions or problems about these new issues but does not formally make a definitive judgment against them."

I'm not sure exactly what to make of this. The USCCB seems to be taking a much more "squishy" view of what the Vatican said then I initially thought. Hmmmmm....what do you think?

See Jane walk.

Jane took her first steps today! We all were there, which was fabulous. Video to follow soon.

It's up!

After several creative attempts of their own over the last two months, the kids finally have a real, live Christmas tree in the house. And it only took eight hours.

8:00 am: The whole gang leaves to find the perfect tree.

8:25 am: Arrive at Lowe's. NOTHING left. Well, about fifteen straggly, stunted branches they are calling Christmas trees, but nothing that could possibly pass muster with my Christmas tree connoisseurs.

8:40 am: Arrive at Home Depot. Much better selection. After forcing Uncle Luke to hold up an inordinate number of trees for close inspection, we finally find the perfect one.

9:30 am: Arrive home with tree. Place it in the stand with relative ease.

10:00 am: Begin to string the lights - the most important job of all.

11:00 am: Begin to realize we are not going to have enough lights.

11:30 am: Run out of lights with about 2/3 of the tree completed. Decide to feed the kids lunch and put Jane and Lucy down for a much-needed nap before sallying forth in search of white mini-lights to finish the tree.

12:15 am: Paul and Momma go out in search of lights.

12:30 pm: After battling the holiday crowds, we discover Target is sold out. We proceed to three other stores before we find the elusive lights.

1:20 pm: Work on finishing up the lights.

2:00 pm: Put on popcorn-cranberry garland.

2:10 pm: Finally, begin to put on the ornaments, much to Paul's relief.

2:30 pm: All the lights on the tree suddenly go out. Panic ensues.

2:40 pm: Andrew discovers that the fuse has been blown in the final strand of lights. He replaces the fuse, and we strategically replug in the strands seperately to avoid a future blackout.

3:15 pm: The tree looks beautiful; the rest of the house not so much.

4:00 pm: The last of the pine needles have been swept up!

7 Quick Takes

********** One **********

The Lord is good. My sister, Catie, and her new husband, Chad, were driving back from their honeymoon last Saturday, hit some black ice on the interstate, and lost control of their Jeep. They flipped over, rolled down the hill onto the eastbound side of the interstate, and then skidded onto the shoulder where they finally came to a stop, narrowly missing a terrible fall off a steep cliff. They were trapped in the vehicle until some local hunters came by and helped them out. Miraculously, neither of them had a scratch. We are all so thankful to the Lord for His protection!

Seriously, though, what a way to start your marriage! Nothing like a near death experience to truly cement your love and commitment to each other.

*********** Two **********

My children are currently obsessed with The Gingerbread Man. There has been a fairly continuous game going on in the house for the past two weeks. Paul, naturally, is the Gingerbread Man, a role in which he delights since it involves running and running and running. He has assigned roles from the book to the rest of the family. And what character has he given to his beloved mother?

The muddy, old sow.

********** Three **********

I am really wishing I owned the townhouse we rent the last few weeks. As our local news runs over-the-top news stories about how the DC metro area is likely to face food shortages (not believable) and traffic nightmares (normal state of affairs) during the upcoming Inauguration, I dream of joining the ranks of local residents making out like bandits renting their homes to the masses coming from around the country for this historic event. All the hotels are completely booked so Inauguration goers are renting local homes for the week. Some of my sisters' friends just rented their townhouse for $13,000 for the week!!! I could take the whole family for a week vacation in Aruba and still make a bundle.

Plus turning the evil of Obama's election into some type of personal good will definitely help the morale around the house.

********** Four **********

Speaking of the new administration naturally leads to us to the state of the old administration, my husband's current employer. Knowing that your husband will be unemployed by a date certain has been a challenging experience for me, but lots of novenas and rosaries have seen me through with a good amount of peace and trust - at least for this control freak.

Thankfully, though, this time seems to be coming to an end. Last week my husband had a very good meeting with a very good company about my dream job for him. The company has been in Fortune magazine's "Top 100 Companies To Work For" for seven consecutive years; the category they perform best in - work/life balance. Need I say more. A pretty clear verbal offer was made, but we are waiting for a written offer with specifics. It should come today or early next week. Say a little prayer!

********** Five **********

While I love giving these personalized calendars as gifts to family members, each year I forget how time-consuming the process can be. The actual creation of the calendar is easy; it's finding and downloading all the pictures I want that takes forever. Each year I vow to automatically download all my pictures onto Snapfish as I take them, but like most resolutions it doesn't take.

********** Six **********

I have not finished my Christmas shopping, have not wrapped one single gift, have barely started my Christmas baking, and am just becoming cognizant of the fact that I am hosting Christmas for my husband's family for the first time this year. Yet tonight you will find me staying up waaaaaay later than I can afford... stringing popcorn and cranberries. We're putting up the tree tomorrow, and I simply cannot let this tradition go, even though I have neither the time nor the energy for it.

I have tried. Last year I decorated the entire tree minus the popcorn garland. Guess how I spent the next day? It just doesn't look like a Christmas tree to me without the popcorn. Any holiday traditions you can't do without?

********** Seven **********

We had a lovely little St. Lucy party today with our homeschooling group. I know it's a day early, but the letter of the week was "L" so it worked out pretty perfectly. It was such a joy to celebrate this wonderful feast with our friends. Besides being our little Lucy's patron saint's feast day, December 13th is also the anniversary of Lucy's successful brain surgery for her hydrocephalus. The fact that Lucy's emergency surgery just happened to take place on her patron saint's feast day will always be a small miracle in my life - a reminder that the Lord loves and knows and cares for my daughter even more than me

Cheap Thrills

There is nothing like a great deal to get you in the holiday spirit - and I had three this week. The fact that none of them were actually holiday-related is of no consequence.

1. Macy's is having some great deals on cookware. I bought a beautiful enamel cast-iron dutch oven for a wedding gift. Original price: $169.00. My price: $34.99. Score!

2. My local grocery store has a buy 1, get 2 free sale on chicken breasts. I bought almost all of them. A small victory, but still just as sweet.

3. My crowning glory....a $400.00 black jacket channeling Audrey Hepburn and $200.00 high waisted black skirt channeling Heidi Klum at Lord & Taylor for....drum roll please....$62.00!!!

7 Quick Takes: The Wedding Edition

********** 5 Days until The Wedding *********

Since 7:00 a.m. we've slowly been making our way from Washington, D.C. to Russia, Ohio, for Aunt Catie's wedding. While three children ages three and under - and a nasty, cold, rainy day -don't exactly make for ideal travel conditions, my mom and I doggedly push forward as cheerfully as possible.

Soon after our lunch break, though, I realize something is amiss. Why haven't we passed Washington, PA, yet? We pull off the highway and try to find our location on a map. Instead of being 25 miles south of Pittsburgh, we are currently 10 miles north of the Steel City. Great.

I run into a local gas station/greasy spoon to get some directions. Two older gentlemen must have recognized my slightly panicked, lost look. They immediately waved me over. "We don't want to know where you're from, or how many kids are in the car, or how long you've been lost. Just tell us where you are going."

These obviously veteran direction givers quickly get us back on the road in the right direction. A nine hour car trip turns into a 12 1/2 hour trip, but no real damage to report - except to my pride.

********* 3 Days until The Wedding *********

Early in the morning we get a call from my sister's matron of honor, who is due next week with her first child. She's at the hospital and 3 cm dilated. One bridesmaid down for the count.

********* 2 Days until The Wedding **********

Our worst nightmare has come true. Mom has the flu. Bad.

Mom is the master architect behind the decorating of the reception hall. Having her out of commission on the day before the wedding is simply not an option. Plus, she is my right hand man in doing the flowers for the wedding - all 5 arrangements, 9 bouquets, 24 corsages, and 31 boutonnieres!

Thankfully, it seems to be a 12 to 24 hour bug. Let's just hope it doesn't spread...

********** 1 Day until The Wedding **********

On the way to the rehearsal dinner, Paul discusses his expectation regarding the wedding. I've been explaining the concept of the wedding to the kids as a special ball; we celebrate a new king and queen with dancing and food and, most exciting for them, Jane and Lucy will wear princess dress and Paul gets a prince outfit. Paul, naturally, has begun to refer to himself as "The Prince."

Paul calls out to me from the back of the van: "Are you going to dance with The Prince at the wedding?"

"Of course, Paul. I would love to dance with you."

"I think a lot of people will want to dance with The Prince," Paul opines.

"I think you are probably right."

"But only one at a time," Paul says firmly.

Well, I'm glad that is clear. I am really worried about this boy's teenage years, though.

********* Morning of The Wedding *********

Two victims of the flu lay sleeping on the couches of the darkened living room. Sadly, I am one of them. I awaken to the sounds of yet another family member being claimed by the virus in the bathroom. I shakily make my way to the bathroom to investigate.

It's not a pretty sight. My sister Maggie, the maid of honor, has camped out with her pillow and sleeping bag on the bathroom floor. Just seven hours until the Cate marches down that aisle. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

My brother Josh marches into the bathroom with a small bottle of Lourdes holy water and hands it to Maggie. "Drink it," I command her.

********* The Wedding Day **********

Cate, looking more beautiful than ever before, marches down the aisle to be greeted by her new husband. My favorite moment of any wedding is the look on a groom's face as his bride approaches him. A poignant mixture of pride and humility, love and fear.

As the trembling, smiling couple turn to face the priest and begin the Mass, a groomsman quietly passes a "puke bowl" over the aisle to the bridesmaids' side. Right before the wedding began I had asked my dad to put a bowl for Maggie in the front row - just in case. He put in on the wrong side. Don't worry, Cate, I don't think anyone noticed. All eyes were on the beautiful bride!

********** The Reception **********

Lots of food. Lots of family. Lots of friends. Lots of wood-related traditions. (See below.)

********** The Aftermath **********

On our way to soccer yesterday...

Paul: "Is Aunt Catie still married?"

Mommy: "Yes. When you get married, you stay married until you die."

Paul: "I'm going to marry Clare in one week."

Mommy: "I think you are a little too young to get married."

Paul: "Well...I'm going to be four soon. Then I'll be older."

Mommy, baiting Paul a little: "I think it's best to wait a little longer. What about Hannah? You like her, too."

Paul: "Oh, oh, oh, I want to marry Hannah!!"

Mommy: "What about Gracie?"

Paul: "Oh, I was just dancing with Gracie.....hmmmm....I want to marry Gracie! Or Hannah. Or Clare."

Mommy: "Well, you have plenty of time to decide, Paul."

More Ohio Moments

One of western Ohio's more gracious and charitable wedding traditions is the "hog trough" dance. Any older, unmarried siblings of the bride and groom are forced to dance about wooden hog trough, eventually breaking them apart. We had two lucky dancers last weekend - my brother Josh and sister Ruth. The father of the groom, a long-time wood shop teacher, constructed the hog troughs, giving Ruth an easy little number with just four strategically placed nails; Josh's trough had about 50 screws. It made for some exciting dancing!

Lest the singletons get stuck with all the entertaining, the bride and groom had a construction-related activity of their own - another fun and messy tradition in which the couple works together for the first time, using a two-man saw to cut a large log.

Only in Ohio

I promise a fabulous wedding rehash post soon, but am still recovering from the Thanksgiving/Wedding/Flu/21 Hour Car Trip extravaganza. In the meantime... ENJOY!